Random thoughts at the End of the Day

I guess this is more for my own benefit than anything else. It was a difficult day with clients. I am so grateful for my health and that of my family but at the same time I hurt for those around me that feel so alone and hopeless about the state of their health. It is very hard to tell people day after day that they are not alone, others are in the same boat they are, and yet their paths never cross. How do you climb out of that hole of despair? How do you get your life back from illness? Oh that there were a "magic pill"! I am so fortunate to see people's lives transformed every day; yet I also watch people agonize over how to eat, what supplement to take, where to live in hopes of not being plagued by chemical sensitivities or radiation exposure. Wow!

Where would I be without God? I am so secure resting in His provision. I am not so naive as to believe that it will all roses and rainbows throughout my life, but I know He has my best in mind. When I hit that "wall" I want to remember that He is my strength. He is my fortress. I may not get the ending I want, but at least I have Him either way and at the end of the day, what else matters?! I want so badly for my clients that are hurting to have the comfort of resting in the infinite wisdom of a Heavenly Father that loves them without measure! God grant me the ability to show them Your love through my words and deeds.

Now it has really been a long time!

I have left blogging for facebook! I just found out how to import blogs into facebook though. Pretty cool! The new year has started off with a blast. I am gearing up to finish the last half of my internship this spring/ summer. I love teaching for BioSET! But I really have a burning desire to be off-duty more. I feel blessed that I don't spend a dollar on advertising and I keep a completely booked schedule, but I also think I am missing some of my girls' best years. That makes me sad. I hope to land a teaching contract (it will take a miracle) and cut out about 40% of my clients. I love my clients though! This blog is going nowhere, I am just venting. Ever feel torn? On to more important things...
The girls are great and doing fabulous in school. Emma is such a gifted musician and so tenacious! Katie is just as laid back as Emma is tenacious. That makes for some great fights! Cynthia has developed a really sweet side and has taken Annalee under her wing and feels like she is Annalee's "real" teacher. She has taught her so much about history. Cynthia has a brilliant mind and savant type memory. Amazing! Annalee is coming into her own as she gets older. She seems to be comfortable finding her own nitch in the family.
The year is already flying by and I am realizing that my oldest only has 3 more years until she is an adult. That makes me just want to sit down and cry! But I won't, because she is going to be a great adult! Not like me :-)
I would love to post some pics, but we don't have any decent ones at the moment. I will work on that!

Fun Thursday

The girls are loving Thursdays! They get to go on excursions with a lovely young lady named Lauren. Today they went shopping for clothes. Emma and Katie are learning to be bargain hunters in the nice stores! Cynthia and Annalee are just tolerating the clothes shopping right now. But they do like Lauren and everyone has a story when they come home. As for mom, she stays home and works and cannot get used to the silence in the house!

We are off to an outdoor concert at the Dallas Arboretum tonight. We love going out with Kurt and Cindy! It promises to be a fun evening under the stars. These are the times we wish could last forever...

Woops! It's been a while...

Wow! Time does fly. We are happily experiencing home school "school" this year. The girls are doing well in their classes at co-op and I love teaching Biology. I have 8 students that are happy to be in the class. Wow! That's so cool! This is our last week of volleyball and it brings bittersweet emotions. We are very happy to not have to go in so many different directions and pay $3.99 for gas. But we did enjoy beating a lot of good teams :-) Cynthia is getting geared up for Upwards basketball in December.

Please pray for us in the next month. My knee is not doing well and I have 2 business trips not far off. We really need God's upholding at this time in our lives. I am so grateful for the support of my parents this year. I could not pursue my internship without their help.

On a lighter note, Kris has a new toy. He set off our house alarm at 6:30 this morning. Our neighbors are going to hate us before long! So many options... so many zones... a techno-geek's paradise! I love him though!

Goodbye Grandkate

Bommie, Mom, Grandkate, Me, Emma (clockwise from left)

My sweet grandmother passed away last Thursday after a short and intense battle with Alzheimer's. Too quickly she went from anticipating the next time we could all be together to being anxious about not being at her home. The great lady that was so adept at planning a family get together and orchestrating a meal for 30+ people went to not being able to find her way around her own kitchen. But what did remain in her last days was the Holy Spirit within her. As my mother testified in her eulogy, when she would sing hymns over her mother or quote scripture over her, she always responded with "Praise God!" She did not know the day of the week or even what year it was, but the Spirit within her testified of her Father's great love and provision for her.
My grandfather is a rock. He never quit treating Grandkate like a bride. He waited on her hand and foot for as long as I can remember. Grandkate passed on 2 months shy of their 60th wedding anniversary. Grandpa, despite burying his wife yesterday, was out delivering Meals on Wheels today! I think Alzheimer's causes the longest good-byes. When the final farewell has been bid, closure finally comes and in the case of a believer, the graduation has happened. Those left behind long to remember the days before the illness. We hold very dear to us the great memories we have of Grandkate!
I thank God for her love, acceptance, and gentle demeanor. She never pretended to be perfect, but she was always genuine in her love for her family... all of us. It didn't quite seem fitting that her funeral was held in an unlit funeral home (thanks, Ike) with no instruments and limited chairs. However, the happy and funny memories that were shared overshadowed the negatives that, like her disease, nobody could do anything about.
Thank you Father for my grandmother. Help me to be as gracious and forgiving as she was with all of us.
Mom and Grandkate on Mom's Wedding Day
Here is her obituary:
A celebration of Katie Bea Kalkomey’s life will take place at Fredonia Hill Baptist Church on Tuesday, September 16, 2008, at 11:00 a.m. with Dr. Johnny Dammon officiating. Katie passed away peacefully at home on September 11, 2008, after a brief illness.She was born to O.L. and Lona Robbins on March 14, 1927, in Minerva, Texas. Katie was a life-long homemaker and devoted to her family. She was preceded in death by her parents and her sister, Dorothy Yawn of Silsbee. She is survived by her husband, Clarance W. Kalkomey, her daughter and son-in-law: Kathy and Bill Stevens of Nacogdoches, and her son and daughter-in-law: Kurt and Cindy Kalkomey of Dallas. She is survived by four grandchildren and their spouses: John Mark and Camille Stevens of Nacogdoches; Sharon and Kris Krahn of Dallas, Matt and Lisa Stevens of Farmer's Branch, and Tim and Lynne' Stevens of Calera, Alabama. Katie is also survived by 13 great grandchildren whom she dearly loved.

New Year, New Challenges

We are half way through our first week of the new school year. Boy am I tired! I did not work today and was able to take Cynthia and Annalee to the park. It made me reminisce on a time in our lives when we were not hurried or on a set schedule with more to-do's than we could say grace over. Emma and Katie have so many memories of days at the park, wandering around malls, going for hikes and play dates. Cynthia has a few of these memories also. Poor Annalee doesn't even know what a play date is! I am afraid her childhood memories will revolve around chasing her sisters up and down the road from one volleyball game to another and one piano or fiddle function to the next.
Yes, today was a good day. My phone did not ring once (a gift from God) and my attention was totally focused on my children. Cynthia got a taste of being a "fun" big sister to Annalee without anyone to direct her every move. The fact that I am still in a full leg brace following knee surgery only serves to give her more freedom with passing along orders to Annalee!
But now tomorrow looms! I am ready for it. The girls are on track with school ( thanks to the home school co-op) and I am gearing up for a busy year. God is blessing me with lots of business and has answered my request that I would find favor in the eyes of my colleagues and mentors. I am embarking on a challenging year of travel with BioSET, doing an internship under Dr. Cutler, and teaching the intermediate seminars beginning in December.
All of this hustle and bustle causes the days to fly by quickly and as I watch my dear, sweet Grandmother lose her life to Alzheimer's I see that this is the day for sowing seeds of faith, for stopping to listen to the silly joke that does not make any sense, for holding back with criticism and instead giving praise. My dear friend Katy and I frequently remark that tomorrow is not ever promised us. Today is all we have, and that makes me think harder about the legacy I am leaving for those that come after me. What will my girls remember most? My harsh tone or my smile? Will they remember when I played games with them and stayed up late watching movies or will they remember me being too tired to interact with them in the evening? When they have their own children, will they be equipped to raise them in a Godly home, and will they want to bring them to visit me? I hope that whatever they remember about their childhood, they will see my motives and forgive my ocean of shortcomings with them.
There will never be another time that is more opportune than this to do what God put me here to do. I must get on with it!

Back Door Visitor

We had a visitor today. Kyle came to town for his new business (http://www.thehaylevator.com/) and brought a horse with him. We were so worried about what our neighbors would say (since it is slightly illegal to have a horse in your yard). But our neighbor stopped Kyle on the street before he had even parked and asked if he would like to put the horse in her back yard! We are not too worried now. Our dog, Rose, is convinced she must protect us from this large intruder. Unfortunately, no one told the horse, Leroy, he should be terrified of Rose. The girls are having a great time opening the door to pet Leroy and talk to him. Leroy just wants to come in where it is air conditioned.

I do hate to think of the poop scooping waiting for us tomorrow! It will be Annalee's turn (read, Kris and Sharon), so Kyle will be dually threatened before this goes too far! At least we won't need to mow for another week!